{"id":3987,"date":"2020-08-13T21:31:12","date_gmt":"2020-08-13T21:31:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/colombiadiversa.org\/?p=3987"},"modified":"2025-08-13T21:31:20","modified_gmt":"2025-08-13T21:31:20","slug":"what-was-your-first-kiss-like-experience-of-a-young-lesbian","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/colombiadiversa.org\/en\/what-was-your-first-kiss-like-experience-of-a-young-lesbian\/","title":{"rendered":"What was your first kiss like... A young lesbian's experience?"},"content":{"rendered":"

I had thought that the best option was to erase that first kiss. All I could think about was what a disappointment it would be for my family. Besides, I felt strange: as if something was wrong with me and made me different from the others. I replayed the scene over and over in my mind: I had kissed another woman.<\/em><\/h3>\n

I felt that it wasn't right, that there was something wrong with me or that maybe I didn't know what I was doing. I couldn't tell my family about what I was feeling, let alone what I had done. But...\u00a0I had an inherent need to do it again<\/strong>\u00a0because I had felt that right at that moment it was the only thing I wanted, that there was nothing wrong with me and that it managed to move every fibre of my body.<\/p>\n

But it wasn't like that, the only thing I did was to fill myself with reasons to think that I was the bad guy, that I was on the wrong path and that I would be a disappointment to everyone. A few days after that first kiss with her, the woman I had always liked, I met a relative of my sister's boyfriend. And without a moment's hesitation, like an impulse, I threw myself at him, trying to erase what I had felt and done until then. \"You like men, you like men\", I kept repeating to myself over and over again as I erased all traces of the past.<\/p>\n

Growing up in a family where religion and machismo were in the way did not let me see what I had done until then,<\/strong>\u00a0feeling alienated from my body, feeling that everything I thought or felt was wrong and that somehow everything I wanted was not from someone normal. So I was with a lot of men, trying to clarify who I was, forcing myself to live what I had been taught was good and moving further and further away from what I felt. I got to be with people I didn't want just to change my mind, kissing and touching bodies I didn't want and feeling dirty for using them to my advantage.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"You like men, you like men, you like men,\" she kept repeating over and over again as she erased all traces of the past.<\/h3>\n

Years later, when I entered university the world stopped. And as if the windows of my essence suddenly opened, everything came out like a piano melody.\u00a0The people I met told me about their tastes, their thoughts and their looks.<\/strong>\u00a0I no longer felt alone. I didn't feel different for feeling what I had always repressed, nor did I feel bad seeing two girls walking down the street holding hands or two boys kissing in the middle of an afternoon, showing the love I hadn't had for years.<\/p>\n

From that moment on I understood that it was not me who was wrong, that I had allowed all those thoughts to interfere with the people who touched me,<\/strong>\u00a0they looked at me or came into my life. But no, it wasn't supposed to be like that. I was no longer to say that the first kiss was with a boy my family adored, but with the girl I had liked at school. I was no longer to feel alien in my own body, but that I could love being in it without fear of disappointing others, for when I could understand that the resistance I had had against myself up to that moment was the same resistance I should have against others. For finally no one could live my life,\u00a0I could love as freely as I did and I could tell the world, without fear or embarrassment, that I like and love a woman.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Forward<\/p>\n

For more content like this, remember to follow\u00a0Adelante Sexual Diversity<\/a>\u00a0on Facebook<\/p>\n

Written by: Mar\u00eda Ximena Cort\u00e9s Melo<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hab\u00eda pensado que la mejor opci\u00f3n era borrar ese primer beso. Lo \u00fanico que pensaba era en la decepci\u00f3n que podr\u00eda ser para mi familia. Adem\u00e1s, me sent\u00eda extra\u00f1a: como si algo no funcionara en m\u00ed y me hac\u00eda diferente a los dem\u00e1s. Repet\u00eda una y otra vez la escena en mi mente: me hab\u00eda […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3988,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[126],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3987","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-opinion"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/colombiadiversa.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3987","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/colombiadiversa.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/colombiadiversa.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/colombiadiversa.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/colombiadiversa.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3987"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/colombiadiversa.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3987\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3989,"href":"https:\/\/colombiadiversa.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3987\/revisions\/3989"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/colombiadiversa.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3988"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/colombiadiversa.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3987"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/colombiadiversa.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3987"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/colombiadiversa.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3987"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}